I got my first false kiss
from cold indifferent ignorance
but she quickly pulled away
and ran upstairs.
So I drew a hot bath
Like a roman suicide
but no blood in the water
only gentle virgin's tears.
I got my first real kiss
from unexpected big heart bliss
leaping over boundaries
clutching tight, kissing right
whispered teachings in the car
I almost learned
but couldn’t quite.
I lost my virginity
to an enormous rolling sea
of acceptance and affection
pulling me in her direction
and just begging for five seconds
of my hurried ecstasy.
Oh I tried my best to love her
but my heart could never cover
the ugly sharp disdain
of my hated haughty mind.
How come they only love you
when your serotonin's high?
How come they only see you
when you fit in, when you hide?
How come they never love you
when your just your lonely self?
Because you only love them
when you try.
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