"Resume"

I got my first false kiss

from cold indifferent ignorance

but she quickly pulled away

and ran upstairs.

So I drew a hot bath

Like a roman suicide

but no blood in the water

only gentle virgin's tears.

I got my first real kiss

from unexpected big heart bliss

leaping over boundaries

clutching tight, kissing right

whispered teachings in the car

I almost learned

but couldn’t quite.

I lost my virginity

to an enormous rolling sea

of acceptance and affection

pulling me in her direction

and just begging for five seconds

of my hurried ecstasy.

Oh I tried my best to love her

but my heart could never cover

the ugly sharp disdain

of my hated haughty mind.

How come they only love you

when your serotonin's high?

How come they only see you

when you fit in, when you hide?

How come they never love you

when your just your lonely self?

Because you only love them

when you try.

"King Charlamine, the Dumbass"

King Charlamine, the dumbass.

First of his name

I wear the crown that starts the reign

of King Charlamine, the dumbass,

walking in the rain

I hear the echo of the shame

of King Charlamine, the dumbass,

speaking to himself

of cold lost memories and what else

belongs to Charlamine, the dumbass,

Imagined golden crown

and his sceptre hanging down

down to dead days, the dumbass,

holding on so tight

won't give in without a fight

so he squeals and so he slaps

runs away until collapse

but King Charlamine, the dumbass

can't be killed so easily,

beneath his burning bodhi tree

he realizes emptiness

so when you swing you always miss,

King Charlamine, the dumbass,

with nothing much to say

so he pours out every day

down the drain of pages white

with a coward's meek delight

its King Charlamine, the dumbass

with his fingers in his ass

dreaming of a loving lass

can't be learned and can't be taught

always sold but never bought

is King Charlamine, the dumbass

pretending not to care

till he weeps and tears his hair,

in the bucket of despair

you will always find him there,

face reflected in the slops

madly laughing till he drops

and fades away....

To return another day

and continue on the reign

of the poor tormented brain

of King Charlamine, the dumbass.